


Desires Vs. Necessities (ON HIATUS)

by THE_SUPERNATURALIST



Category: Deadman Wonderland
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Fingering, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Awkward First Times, Bad Spelling & Grammar, Canon-Typical Violence, Consensual Underage Sex, Cussing, Evil Plans, Finger Sucking, Fingerfucking, First Time Blow Jobs, Forced Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, My First Fanfic, Not Beta Read, Oral Sex, Out of Character, Protectiveness, Underage Kissing, Underage Sex, unwilling participants
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3872848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/THE_SUPERNATURALIST/pseuds/THE_SUPERNATURALIST
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ganta comes to apologize to senji, but somehow he ends up asking to be friends?  Senji on the other hand has to lay down  a few ground rules. What will become of this newly developed friendship? Who knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Desires : Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> Hey whats up? this is my first fic, this is a pairing i've been into lately. there's not much on it so i thought id give it a shot. 
> 
> Tell me what you think and if i should do more.

Ganta took a deep breath. It'd been a week since his and minatsuki's fight, and he _still_ hadn't apologized for senji's eye. Taking another deep breath he knocked on the door to senji's room.

"Who the fuck is it?!" senji asked annoyed, opening the door to see ganta standing there.

"I-It's me ganta" he said timidly. senji sighed and rolled his eyes.

"No shit sherlock" he stood there waiting for him to say something. instead they just stood there for a while.

"Well are you just going to fucking stand there, or are you going to come in?" he demanded stepping aside so ganta could enter the room. He quickly walked in and senji shut the door behind them; walking back to his bench he sat down and lifted the barbell. "Is there something you needed, kid?" he asked lifting the weight effortlessly.

"Its ganta, not kid." he said sharply. Senji lifted an eyebrow. He set the weight back where it belonged and sat up.

"Ok, it there something you needed, _Ganta_?" he said with a small smile

"I came to say sorry. about the fight, and about your eye. its my fault they took it." he blurted out looking at him through his lashes, not wanting to meet his face. Senji snarled and had him pinned to the wall before he could even blink. He had his arm pinned painfully behind him. "ah what're you doing?!" he cried tears forming at his eyes.

"Shut the fuck up, do you think this is a game?" he asked twisting the arm further. Ganta shook his head forcefully. "Tsk, then you got nothin' to apologize for." he let him go. Ganta dropped to the floor and rubbed his arm soothingly. "You did what you needed to do, you went out there and kicked ass." He huffed out a chuckle " my ass specifically, that was the best fight i've had in a while. so dont you  _ever_ apologize for that again" He spat out the last part. "You see this eye-patch? This is a trophy from that match, i wouldn't have it any other way." He smiled and picked Ganta up off the ground, and dusted him off a bit "so if thats it-" he was cut off 

"NO!" He exclaimed loudly still holding his arm. He was shaking slightly ' I',m going to do it. I'm just going to come out and ask ' he thought to himself. There was a thing layer of sweat covering his body.Senji looked down at him menacingly. 

"Well, fucking spit it out already, for christ's sake. i don't got all day." he told the teenager standing in front of him. ganta picked up his head inhaled a deep breath. 

"iwannabefriends" he said quickly shutting his eyes. 

"Wait, what was that?" he asked coughing "I need you to repeat that, squirt." He said after quickly recomposing himself.

"IsaidIwanttobeyourfriend." he mumbled softly.

Senji stared blankly and thought for a moment. "what for?' he asked harsher than he intended. He's had a rule trust no one, especially the deadmen, and he wasn't about to break that rule just because some kid asked. "what the hell's in it for you?' he retorted. relaxing a bit ganta replied.

"nothing,  it's just ever since I've gotten to g-block I've sorta been a outcast. You're the only one who even acknowledges me. i just thought we could be pals." he said slightly dreading a response. Senji closed his eyes and took a breath. 

"Ok but this doesn't mean that we're going to be all chummy, got that?" he asked with a scowl. " _And_   you've gotta prove it to me. you gotta do friend things okay? so i guess you can start coming by. If you're not here by 5:00 sharp its no cigar, got that punk?"he didn't wait for an answer. grabbing ganta by the shoulders he led him out of his room. "see ya tomorrow" The next day was a slow one. he watched the clock out of the corner of his eyes, Not expecting the kid to come but at the stroke of 5:00 the next day there was a knock at the door. He picked his head up from the pillow. He walked as slow as he could to the door, and opened it. sure enough ganta stood there looking slightly nervous. "what do you want?" he asked 

"its 5:00" he said sheepishly. looking up he held out some Candy. "they took all of your extras and  gave them to me, i don't want them." he said "so, you can have them back." senji took them with his mouth slightly agape This kid, Ganta just kept surprising him, first he wants to be friends then  he gives back part of the prize for winning. senji couldn't think or any other person , deadman or otherwise, who would do that. he smiled

'"First you ask someone to be friends ,then you give them candy,  You're fucking weird man" he said with a smile. he walked out of the room closing the door behind him. "so what do you want to do?" he asked turning to ganta. he stared blank faced at senji. 

"i um actually i didn't plan this far ahead." he admitted shyly. he thought senji would laugh and beat him up. Something he was prepared for at any moment.He heard a small sigh

"come on, i got this" senji said leading him to the courtyard. he sat ganta down at a table. he went off to buy what he wanted. once he came back he took him to a secluded grassy area. senji had a blanket spread out with a medium sized basket laying on it. Ganta stifled back a laugh.

"A picnic?" ganta asked incredulously. he smiled and sat down. Looking up he waited for senji to sit.

"its not like  _you_ had any ideas." he mumbled sitting across from him. happily ganta took a sandwich from the basket and started to eat, looking around he realized that he'd never been to this part of the courtyard before. Thats when he noticed senji staring intently at him. almost choking on his sandwich he coughed, looking away he continued eating slowly. senji was now sitting cross legged. "yo, humming bird, are you just going to sit there or are we gonna talk or something?" he asked taking a sandwich for himself. Ganta not knowing what to talk about brought up the subject of foods, what they liked and didn't like. After talking for a bit they realised  that they had a lot in common. For instance neither one of them liked black licorice, cherry soda, or coconut flavored anything, while on the other hand they both liked ice cream, sushi, pizza, and apple juice. Looking around ganta noticed that they were the only ones left in the yard. he stood up quickly.

"hurry up or else we might be late for lights out." he said worried. Senji smiled

"Relax,  we're only late in dog years" he said with a smile. "why are you picking up? clean up crew will get it." he said walking along to the doors. Once he got there he held it open for ganta who scurried inside. "come on let me walk you to your room" he said. ganta looked up excitedly,

"really? wow, thanks senji." he said happily. 

"No prob, kiddo" he said ruffling his hair. granta pouted slightly with tinted cheeks.

"m'not a kid" he mumbled. senji laughed and ruffled his hair again. they were close to his room now, once they got to the door ganta opened it and stepped in. He promptly took a bow. "see ya later alligator!" He said with a smile before closing the door. Senji stood there for a second confused as to what had just happened.

"later" he said uncertainly before turning to walk down the hall to his room. "maybe having a friend wont be so bad" he mused quietly to himself.  

 


	2. Necessity: Knowledge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to update. I didn't have any motivation to write for a ling time but a friend read the tags, got horrified and that made me want to finish this up. So thank my weak friend for this chapter.

Ganta poked his head into Senji's room. He had stood just outside the doorway debating whether or not to come in. When he did Senji hadn't noticed him. He decided to speak up.

"Senji," he asked pausing " I-It's been a few days since we've hung out, and if you're not busy-" Senji cut him off

"I don't see why not," he said standing up and strolling over to the door " I have nothing better else to do any ways."  He smiled and ruffled Ganta's hair, "let's go kiddo." He had to hide a smirk when Ganta frowned at being called 'Kiddo'. Senji gave him a look when he cleared his throat unexpectedly. "What?" He asked a bit impatiently.

"Where are we going!?" He asked feigning nonchalance. Senji shrugged.

"What'd you wanna do?" he asked with little care for the actual answer.He shrugged. 

"I don't know. I just want to hang out. To talk." He said shifting awkwardly. "Most people don't need a reason to hang out. We can just chill out in here. If you want that is." Senji rolled his eyes and walked back over to his bench. 

"Alright, so talk." He said adding and extra weight to each side of his bar. 

"I want to know about you. What you like, what you don't. What gets on your nerves and what can I do to not upset you." He said.

Senji sighed. "what is there to know? I  think you know me pretty well. You know my name, my sentence, plus we pretty much have the same daily life." He sat up looking at the boy in his room. 

Ganta rolled his eyes. "That's not what I mean and you know it. I want to know what makes you you. Senji. You know?" 

Raising an eyebrow he spoke. "No not really. I just think you're trying to waste my time with all these questions, I mean I already said we'd be friends. Isn't that enough?" He asked. 

"I'm not trying to waste your time, I swear. And just because you say were friends that doesn't mean anything. We don't know each other. Not yet at least." He said. 

"Well" senji said. "When you put it that way. I guess I like honest people. People who tell the truth but aren't too blunt about it. because it can get weird that way." He said coolly looking at a wall. Ganta nodded and began to talk about his day. Senji listened occasionaly making a joke at ganta's expense. As it got later in the day their talk got deeper and deeper. Life, death, and fate. 

"There's no such thing." Senji told ganta. "You can mold your own future and get whatever you want, if you work hard enough anything can be achieved."

"But what about us? Why were we chosen as deadmen? there HAS to be a reason for all this, that all of us were brought together." He argued back. 

"So, you think there's a big guy up there pulling all the strings?" senji asked looking to him with a slight intensity. 

"Are you asking me if believe in god?" he paused thinking about his answer. He paused for a long moment. "Before, if you would've asked me, i would've said yes, but now, i'm not too sure." He admitted quietly.  His friend looked to him not really knowing what to say. When he opened his mouth to speak a bell went off, announcing lights out.  He sighed. 

"If they catch you out in the halls now, you'll be in trouble."Senji told him as he stood up walking to the door. "Listen, you can stay here tonight, but in the morning you gotta be gone, Got that?" he told the younger boy that was standing in his room. 

"Here, in your room? is that allowed? What happens if we get caught? Will you get in trouble?" 

"AGH, Dude! It's fine, they don't care to check our rooms." He answered annoyed by the barrage of questions. "Y'know what? fine. i don't care if you get in trouble. go." he told the boy

"No, i want to stay." he paused "it'll be like a sleepover!" he said with a smile walking back over to Senji. Senji scowled slightly. They both turned and looked at the bed. 

"So, how're we going to do this?" He thought about it for a second, they had to hurry because the lights would turn off soon. He nodded, "ok, I'll lay one way and you'll lay the other. Head to feet." he stated. They nodded at each other and laid down as soon as the lights turned off. Senji soon realised that this was not going to work. "S-Stop kicking me." he growled. 

"I'm not trying." he said apologetically as he squirmed. "i just can't get comfortable." he shifted under the sheets. Each timed he moved senji got a foot to the chest. Quietly he ground his teeth. "Opps - I-I'm sorry." Senji finally snapped. 

"QUIT MOVIN AROUND. YOU'RE GONNA MESS UP THE SHEETS AND YOU KEEP KICKING ME!" He sat up looking at where Ganta's head would be. Ganta squeaked. "You know what, uh uh nope this ain't gonna work. Hold up." He grabbed ganta and flipped him around like it was nothing. He flopped him down next to him. "There." he said normally. 

"Are you sure about this?" he asked slightly shifting so that he could look at the other person in the bed. There was a soft huff

"Yeah i'm sure. this way you won't be kicking me." he said "Turn around. I don't want you breathing all over me." The smaller nodded and complied turning around. 

 "Thank you, for letting me stay the night here." He said softly

"Yeah, yeah don't make it weird." he said softly. "Go to sleep" Ganta fell asleep to soft breaths against his neck, and a warm pressure against his back. The next morning when Senji woke up They were close. He had an arm thrown carelessly over the boy and he was tucked in and nestled against his chest. He blinked awake and slowly pushed the younger male off oh him, he pulled his arm away and carefully got up without waking the boy. He was almost to the door when he heard a rustle and a soft groan. He winced, and turned around. "Hey, you up?" He walked back over to the lump on his bed. He put his hand on the boy. "Come on, get up kid."  He shook him slightly. That earned a murmur from under the blankets. "What was that?" He asked. 

"I said that's not my name." He said popping his head up from under the covers. 

 "Whatever" he said rolling his eyes "get up" he said pulling the covers off of him. He groaned loudly and curled up tighter. 

"But your bed is so much softer than mine!" He rolled over. "S'not fair." 

" I will throw you on the floor." He warned the younger. Ganta looked back up at him. 

"You're bluffing." 

"Oh? I am?" He asked with a sly grin. "Try me." He said making his voice low. They stared at each other for a moment before ganta sighed and moved to get up. 

"You're heartless." He told him with no heat in the words. 

"I got a heart," senji said with a smile. "They haven't taken that yet." Ganta frowned at that, and they walked to the door ganta leading the way. You go wash up, and I'll meet you for breakfast." When they opened the door minatsuki was standing there about to knock. in the short time it took her to process the scheme before her she'd already moved out of their way. 

"Ohhhhhh~ looks like someones been getting cozy lately." She said with a small smile. "Woods out there that you guys are even FRIENDS." She laughs. And senji nudges ganta talking him to go get washed up. They waited until he was gone and she looked back to him eyes narrowed. "That's just fuckin stupid. You can have friends here!" He shrugged. 

"Its too late I told him we'd be friends."  He said simply. 

"No, you guys are faggy. I can smell it." She said cruely 

"Whatever you think. Just leave him out of it" he said lowering his tone.

"Oh no, I don't think I will. We're going to be friends too! We're going to have so much fun." She said smiling, her eyes hiding something dark. He pulled her into his room shutting the door behind them. 

"Listen here." He said pushing her against the wall. "I don't know where you're going but if you tough one hair on his head. I swear I will-" he was cut off by her cackling 

"You'll what?" She said with an insane smile on her face. "You'll kill me?" She asked laughing more. Then she glared at him. "Keep me in here any longer and people'll start to think that its US fucking" he let her go and she walked out. He didn't know where this was going to go, but he already regretted it. He washed his face and changed clothes. A jumpsuit with the top half tied around his waist and a black tank top. Walking over he thought about what he'd said. Why did he care what happened to the brat? It didn't matter to him, did it? When he walked into the eatery he saw ganta waiting for him. Ganta stood and smiled when he noticed senji. He sighed walking over. What did he get himself into, he thought as he sat next to his friend. 

But who knows, maybe having a friend wouldn't be so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if you liked it leave kudos! 
> 
> Also tell me how to improve my writing!


	3. Desire: companionship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some horrible grammar. and probs some bad writing.

Senji smiled, pulling Ganta along. "Senji," he complained, "where are you taking me? And why do I have to wear this blindfold!?" He whined. Senji shushed him. 

"Just wait a sec. You'll see." Was the only reply. They rounded another corner and they stopped. "OK, take off your blindfold." He said, crossing his arms. Ganta did so to see a table in the middle of the room illuminated by a light. On top of the table was a familiar container. 

"Oh my god!" Ganta said as he ran up to the table. "Where'd you even get this?" He asked before turning to look at the older male. "I've looked everywhere!" He said with a smile. He picked it up as if it were a precious object. His smile grew as he turned it over in his hands. Senji's eyes were warm as he watched his look in awe at the pudding in his hands.

"I have my ways," He said, not mentioning that his 'ways' involved bribing about 8 guards. He shrugged. "I remembered that you liked it and i got you some," was his only response. Ganta smiled.

"Oh thank you Senji! Aw man, I wish I had a spoon or something on me," he said with a sigh. Senji whistled and pulled a spoon out of his pocket, tossing it to him. Ganta caught it easily. He ripped the top open and ate a spoonful. He moaned softly and closed his eyes. Trying to imprint the taste onto his mind, he ate another spoonful. Senji chuckled and rolled his eyes. Ganta looked up and then back to the little container in his hands. He paused. "Senji, do you want some?" he held out the pudding. Senji blinked at the pudding and shook his head. "Come on, I'd feel bad if I ate it all, besides, things always taste better when you share." he said with a smile, pushing the container closer to the man. 

"I don't want to." He said, looking back to Ganta's face. 

"But why?"

"Because if we use the same spoon it'll be like kissing, an indirect kiss, and I don't want to kiss you" he said, turning a small tint of pink. Ganta laughed softly, but stopped when a glare was thrown his way. 

"Is that it? Come on Senji, I'd kiss you." He said. Senji's eyes widened. 

"What? You would?!" He asked. 

"I mean yeah, but like only if you wanted." He sputtered out. "Do you want some or not!" He asked more forcefully this time. Senji snatched it from him and took a spoonful. It was sweet and it made his jaw tingle. He handed it back to Ganta and he turned and walked out of the room. Ganta sighed. 'How did I upset him?' He thought to himself. Deciding it wasn't his fault he shrugged. 'I don't need Senji! i can hang out with other people.' he thought with a nod. 

Senji made it to a corner before he stopped. 'What did he mean by that? He would kiss me? Does Ganta want to kiss me?' He leaned on the wall and he tried to swallow. Taking a deep breath he tried to calm down, his face felt hot. He didn't know why he was feeling that way. 'It must be an allergic reaction or something' that's what he went with. The whole way back to his room he muttered about how aggravating Ganta could be. He didn't even want any pudding, that damned brat. 

Ganta ate the pudding with a frown. What had he done to anger the older man? He mumbled something, walking out and bumping into someone. 

"Hey, watch it freak!" Minatsuki said with a sneer. She looked at him for a second before sighing. "Sorry, I'm supposed to be 'working on my anger'" she said normally. "So, how's that friendship thing coming along?" she asked starting to walk with him. He shrugged.

"I don't know, i thought it was going good, but today he got angry with me. I don't even know why." He told her. "He's just really- not emotional- but passionate? Hes just passionate about his stances." She nodded. 

"Oh really? Well maybe he just cares about his opinions and everyone else can just suck it" she said, with a small smile. Turning them against each other would be too easy. "Yeah, people like that are the worst. Like they don't care about anyone but themselves." 

"What? No, Senji's not like that at all." He said. "He's really nice, and he's kind. He cares about other people." He said smiling. 

"Ok, whatever you want to think." She said as they were nearing senji's room. The door was open so just as they passed she threw an arm around Ganta and laughed, he chuckled awkwardly. 

"What's so funny?" he asked when they were passed it. She took her arm back from around him.

"Oh nothing." she said sweetly and humming taking off in a completely different direction.

Senji stood in his room with his teeth gritted. So as soon as he left he went to her. "I guess your friendship isn't that special." He turned his back to the door. "Whatever." A few hours later ganta came into his room. 

"Hey, senji. Guess what happened to me." he said excitedly. Senji didn't respond, his back to the boy. He frowned. "Senji, what's wrong?" He walked over and put a hand on his back. Senji turned around pushing his hand away. 

"Oh, You want to tell me?" He scoffed. "I thought you'd want to tell your best friend." He shrugged "You know, since you two were being so chummy" He told him with a glare. Ganta took a step back. What was the problem? His surprise turned into an almost exact scowl. 

"What are you talking about? I don't get it." He told him his voice growing. 

"Oh, thats how its gonna be? Ok." He said 

"Senji, I don't know what youre talking about. Calm down, i dont know whats going on but people can have more than one friend! Why are you being weird?" He Asked

"I'm not being weird." He said 

"Um yeah you are" He replied

"Who cares what you think, If i say im not being weird then i'm not being weird." He said almost in a shout. Ganta blinked and stepped back. It took him a second to process the words, but when he did he narrowed his eyes. 

"Minasuki was right about you." He said feeling hurt. It was Senji's turn to be surprised. 

"Get out." He said with dark eyes quietly brewing anger.

"What?" Ganta asked

"Get out. I said get out." He pointed at the door. "You need to leave." He pushed him to the opening of the room. Ganta stuttered and blinked ans he was pushed out and the door shut behind him. He stood there for a second trying to process what has happened. He was the one who should be angry, he was attacked, not senji. What right did he have to explode on him, None that's what. 

"Awww, Ganta i tried to tell you. I did." Said a familiar voice from the end of the hall. He looked over to see minatsuki standing there. "I just knew that he'd end up hurting you. That's why i didn't want you guys to get close." She said strolling up to him.

"I should've listened to you. He's an ass. I didn't even do anything. Then he started yelling at me"  His chest felt tight. He felt like his chest was going to implode. He took a deep breath blinking away the tears. If he didn't care, why did it hurt so much? He let himself be led away by her. 

"Its ok, we can be friends. if you want" she said encouragingly placing a hand on his back. He smiled at her softly. 

"Ok." He said softly. The next few days he started hanging out with her more and more. Senji watched with silent animosity. He didn't like this. He didn't like this one bit, it hurt to watch them talk and laugh. He wanted to be the one who made him laugh. Whenever they looked at eachother he was hopeful for a smile or a wave, but it never came. It hurt to see them together, he didn't like it. it made him feel weak. Then suddenly he remembered what she told him, she was up to something and he'd stop her. He'd get his friend back. Ganta. 

Scratch that, Having a friend was going to be tough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another chapter! Did you like it? Kudos and comment!


	4. Necessity:Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the friendship be resolved? Who knows? Not me that's for sure!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll keep updating as long as you keep reading. also maybe next chapter I'll be getting to the parts that gave this its rating.

It was now or never. Senji hid as Ganta walked closer, it was one of the rare times that he was alone. Without Minatsuki there to monopolize his time. To turn him further against him. When Ganta neared, Senji pulled him into the hall, a hand covering his mouth. With widened eyes Ganta struggled against his captor.  "Woah, easy there tiger." He whispered into Ganta's ear softly. Senji's warm breath at such a close proximity sent shivers down his spine. He stopped moving. "Are you done, are you gonna scream? You gonna fight me?" He asked with a small amount of urgency in his voice. Ganta nodded softly, and Senji removed his hand. 

"What is this? Senji what is this all about?" He asked in a loud whisper turning around to see Senji.

"Calm down, Ganta. I'm not going to hurt you." He told him. Ganta scoffed.

"I'm not afraid of you. I want to know why you just borderline kidnapped me." He said, staring up at the man he probably should be afraid of. 

"I'm trying to say sorry. That I just exploded, I didn't mean anything by it." He said.

"Then why'd you do it?" He asked.

"Because I got angry, seeing you with her. After what she told me. I just exploded." He tried to explain. "How could you be so stupid to actually believe her?" 

"Excuse me? Is this how you apologize, insulting me?" He scoffed and tried to push his way out of the hall, but Senji blocked him. 

"No, It's just. I-I I'm sorry ok." He said with a sigh. "Look. She's up to something. Ganta, kid, you've gotta trust me. I've known her longer. I know how she can be." 

"Why can't you just trust people? People can change." He said louder.

"OH Bullshit. People dont change. You think I want to be this way?" He said, almost yelling and motioning to himself. Ganta took a step back and blinked. "If I move too suddenly they're on the ground begging me not to kill them." He reached up and tugged at his hair. "But you! You liked talking to me, you aren't scared." He was rambling on, words pouring out of his mouth. He took a deep breath and pulled his lips tight. He stepped to the side. "Go. You can leave." Ganta did so slowly. He turned around and looked at Senji, for some reason he felt heavy leaving him there in the darkened hall. 

He made his way back to his room and to his surprise Minatsuki was sitting on his bed. He sighed softly. She was always around, leaving him no time for himself. At least with Senji they had time apart, because you know what they say- 'absence makes the heart grow fonder", and it was true. 

"About time, you fuck face." She said, getting up. He'd learned that she was like this most of the time and he had to just roll with the punches. Literally. She stretched and her dress lifted, he glanced away. "I thought I was going to die of old age before you came." She said. 

 "I got held up, Senji had something to say to me." He said while running a hand through his hair. She perked up. 

"Senj? What'd he say? I thought I told you to stay away from him. He's bad news." She told him. 

"Are you in a place to judge?" He asked, feeling slightly defensive.

" No. Guess not." She said with a shrug. "But hey, I mean if you want to be friends with an egotistical hedonistic ass like that, then fine." she lifted her hands. "I won't butt in." He didn't know what that meant, but he didn't like it. 

"He's not like that. He's just- He just doesn't know how to talk, and he really cares about his friends." 

"What do you mean he doesn't know how to talk?" she said scoffing. 

"Like, he's shy. He doesn't know how to let others know what he's feeling." He said with a small smile.

"You're gay." She stated

"Uh, I am not!" He protested. "You can't just come into someone's room and insult them." 

"Well i did." 

"Then. . .Then you can leave!" He stammered. 

"Fine." She stood and left. Ganta paced around in his room. Why did she have to be so mean, why did he put up with her? Senji never treated him like that. If senji hurt his feelings he'd apologise and try not to do it again.

He rested in his room and stayed in even while the evening meal was being served. Deep in thought there was a knock at bis door. He waited a few minutes before getting up to go answer it. He walked over sluggishly, opening the door. Minatsuki stood there with a tray by her feet. Hr looked down, then back to her. She took a step back.

"What?" she asked sharply. He smiled softly shaking his head. 

"Its nothing," He bent down and picked up the tray. "Thank you." She looked at him a second before she too smiled. 

"You're welcome." She stood there nodding for a second. "Alright this is getting weird, I'm going" she pointed away. She walked away at a slow leisurely pace.

Ganta knew who was really there for him. Who he could trust. Only one of them cared about him enough to make sure he ate. He nodded. Tomorrow he'd talk to senji. He thought to himself taking the tray into his room. He put a spoonful into his mouth and he smiled, it was almost to his exact preference. 

 

On the other side of the g block Senji absently mindedly flipped the pages to a book he's read at least times cover to cover. He hoped that ganta had opened his door, that he'd gotten the food that he'd left for him. He knew how it felt to be deprived meals for a while, though not willingly. He'd notice that when he 'ate' lunch with that girl he didn't eat much. He also didn't know why he even cared. It wasn't like it even mattered if they hung out or not. He didnt care. Mumbling under his breath he cussed and shut the book. 

"Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me." He asked himself. First he got mad when Ganta talked to someone else then he tore the kids head off about it. To top it all off he cornered him in the hall and failed at apologising. He didn't have friends before, he didn't need any now. Then the warning bell rang out for lights out and he layed back on his bed. After a while he heard the familiar ring of lights out and the locking of the doors. He let himself fall into a dreamless sleep. 

 

Ganta laid awake and thought about what he was going to do. He didn't want to tell Senji that they couldn't be friends, but he thought it was the best course of action. After all what had Senji done for him? The pudding? It didn't mean anything, right? He managed to get some sleep. It was about midday when he'd worked up the courage to knock on Senji's door. When Senji opened the door he was wearing his normal attire and a pair of black reading glasses. 

"Whats up?" 

"I- why can't I be friends with both of you?" He says instead. 

"Listen, Ganta. you can. I have no claim on you." He said taking his glasses off. 

"But its just that you're so nice and she pays attention to me and cares about me- and you're ok with it?" He asked looking up at the man hopefully. 

"Not really, but I can't tell you no." He told him truthfully. "I want you all to myself, but i know if i try too hard you'll be pushed away" he told him softly. He wanted to be friends. He wanted to protect ganta and hurt anyone who hurt the boy, It hurt when they didn't spend time together, and he didn't like the way he felt with out the boy.

Ganta blushed slightly at that. It sounded weird, but he knew Senji well enough to understand him. "Yeah" He said with a smile. "But Minatsuki's really nice. She brought me lunch yesterday." Senji frowned at that. 

"She told you that? I took that to you." He said knitting his eyebrows together. "See i told you she-"

"I assumed she brought it. Im sorry." Ganta told him walking into the room. "Did i interrupt you, I know you like to work out in peace." He changed the subject. Senji closed the door and walked in. 

"Nah i was just reading." He walked over and picked up the book handing it over. Ganta examined the book and returned it. Senji opened it and resumed his position reading. 

"Scooch over" he said laying next to the larger man who moved over. They talked for a while before he fell asleep. Senji looked down and brushed hair out of his face. He'd never felt so content with someone else before. He sighed softly and put the book away nestling the boy closer to him. He fell asleep quickly warm and content. 

 

Minatsuki was looking around for ganta, who else could she treat like shit? She'd already looked by the food, in his, room. There was only one place she hadn't looked. But he couldn't be there she'd done everything to turn them against each other. No way. She took off to Senjiś room, normally you wait for someone to open the door but she walked in and sneered. The way they were curled up together, disgusting. SHe wouldn't allow it. Storming off she hatched up a plan. 

When the awoke they had sleepy smiles and ganta left. He woke up when he spotted minatsuki. The look on her face made his blood run cold. 

"Whats wrong?" He asked 

"You thought I actually wanted to be your friend. God I had to put up with you for so long."She laughed "You fag, fuckin' Gross. I hate you get away from me, and if you know what's good for you youĺl stay away from me." 

"I don't understand, why are you saying this?" He said 

"Because I hate you, I Told you lies about Senji because I want you to be miserable." she spat. "You think weŕe in prison to make friends? We're here to suffer, but you weren't. So I had to make sure you suffered." She said cackling. "But it didn't work. Don't worry, You'll suffer soon enough."

"What are you talking about? Stop this!" He said Sputtering. She was scaring him. 

"no, I don't think I will." 

"Senji was right about you!" He told her as she walked away. She stopped and looked back to him.

"He was."

 

Ganta walked around mindlessly finding his way to Senjiś room. He knocked on the door and began to cry when he saw Senji. Senji frowned and pulled ganta close to him. 

"It's ok" He shushed him and rubbed his back leading him into the room. He let Ganta sob into his chest while to told him that it was ok. that he was ok. He petted his down and wiped at his face. "A-alright, stop crying. Ganta, Please." He told him softly. 

He sputtered trying to calm down. "Y-y-You were ri-right." Senji had been right about her and had tried to warn him. He apologised with a shaky breath. 

"It's ok, I sorta wish I could say I told you so, but now's not the right time." Ganta hit him lightly and Senji chuckled. 

Ganta told him about what she had said. He described the look and sound of her. Senji's face turned from and expression of comfort to one of anger and disbelief. "She won't touch you. If she even breathes on you let me know." He told the boy sternly. Senji decided that he would protect Ganta. No one would hurt what was his. His friend. He went and laid on the opening his arms for ganta to come. Ganta did and sighed contently. Senji made him feel safe, He loved the way, Senji could just melt his worries. He trusted him.

They were friends,and Ganta decided having a friend wasn't so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT, but leave kudos also if you liked it.


	5. Desire: Affections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that minatsuki is out of the way what will happen. Will the friendship grow into something more? Also noncon triggers?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support and im sorry this is so late! Now I'm finally going to be getting to some of those tags!
> 
> *update* No one told me they were OOC???

Ganta's eyes were beginning to fill with tears. "P-Please, Senji, hurry. I need more." He pleaded to the other man his voice shaky. He was met with a deep chuckle. 

"You gotta tell me what you want." Senji said. His breath warm, sending chills up Ganta's spine.

"Don't tease me. I-I need it." He looked away his cheeks a dusty pink. Slightly he bit his lip before looking back. "I want you to make me cum." He replied confidently. It earned a laugh from his partner. Senji left a trail of kisses from his lips to his collar bones, nipping slightly along the way. It made Ganta whine for more. He let his hands roam across Ganta's body. Slowly trying to memorize every dip and curve to the boy. Senji moved back to admire Ganta, then he inched forward and re-positioned himself between the youngers' thighs. Leaning down he kissed his inner thigh and Ganta moaned at the contact, willing the other to hurry.

 "This OK?" He asked clearly concerned for the other. "Are you sure you want this? I can stop." Senji rubbed his thigh encouragingly. Ganta nodded softly. 

"Yes. I want this. I-I want you." At this point Ganta was sure he didn't want it, but that he needed it. He shifted for any kind of contact. Senji was talking too long so he reached down and began to grope at himself. He moaned softly and began to move his hand faster. There was a small huff. 

"You just wanna get off." Senji said moving Ganta's hand. "I can help with that." He said smugly. Leaning down he licked a stripe up the others' cock. Ganta flinched and let out a yelp, almost whining for more. He took that as a 'go ahead' and took the head into his mouth. Swirling his tongue and sucking. He opened his mouth to moan but nothing came out. His eyebrows furrowed and his face contorted in pleasure. 

Without thinking he rested his hands on the back of Senji's head. He moaned loudly; letting his head loll to the side. His breath hitched when Senji grazed his teeth against his length. His chest rising and falling at uneven intervals. He tightened his thighs around Senji's head and tangles his fingers in the dark mop of hair. Senji mumbled something and the vibrations made Ganta's legs twitch. He knew he wouldn't last much longer. "S-Senji," he whined "Please. I'm close." There was a grunt and the speed picked up. Moments later he came, his load gliding easily down Senji's throat. 

* * *

 Ganta jolted awake, eyes wide, and panting.  His breath out of control he glanced down to the wet spot in between his legs. Tentatively he reached down and felt the still warm slick. Blushing deeply he stood and looked around. Quickly he rid himself of the soiled sheets and clothes; figuring it was early enough he'd head to the showers, maybe that'd calm his mind.  Once he got to the showers he turned it onto the coldest settings, letting the cold water run down his body helped. Until that is, he let the memories of the dream took hold of his mind once again. It had all felt so real. Senji and he. Ne, he shook his head. it didn't happen.  _"You just wanna get off. . . I can help with that"_ He felt as it were being whispered into his ear. A shiver passed through his spine. Somehow he ended up cumming again in the shower.- He decided avoiding Senji for the rest of his life would work. One look and he felt like he would know. He hung his head and begun his day.

Senji on the other hand got a late start on the day. He stayed in bed far longer than usual, felling somewhat lethargic he brushed his teeth and then made his way to the food court. He walked in and headed toward their 'usual' table. Ganta looked up and met his eyes. Widening them he scrambled and got up. 

He'd done his best to avoid him, but now there he was. He put his head down and tried to rush past him. But then his shoulders were gripped by strong hands. He squeaked and looked up. 

There was a huffed out chuckle, almost like the one he'd heard in his dreams. "Whoa, where's the fire?" Senji asked lightly. "Where are you off to?" He tilted his head slightly. 

Ganta squirmed. He was so close, he could feel his warm breath. It made him shiver. He knew he had to get out of there. "L-Let me go." He wriggled. 

"Woah, what's wrong?" He pulled a hand back. "Are you OK?" He put his palm to his forehead. 

"N-No, I mean yes." He pulled away. He sighed and looked up. "Just leave me alone, okay?" He somewhat rudely pushed past and walked away. 

"Ah. Okay." He said shocked. It had felt like a slap. He took a step back and inhaled. He glanced back to the others receding form. He didn't like that, but he shrugged and got his food. Still not understanding why exactly Ganta had pushed him away. Literally

Ganta hurried away blushing furiously. This was it; their friendship was over. He'd never be able to look him in the eye again. He couldn't ever sleep with him again. Not the way he wanted apparently. He'd never feel the warmth, or the weight of an unconscious Senji holding him while he slept. it was comforting, the pressure of Senji sleeping behind him, the way his breath felt on his neck. He felt this way and didn't know how he felt, and holy shit he was gay. With the new realization he went to his room and laid down trying not to think of what had happened the night before. Just as he was beginning to relax There was a knock at the door. Senji, his mind automatically went to. He should apologize. So thinking this he heaved himself up and dragged himself to the door. "Listen, Senji, I'm sorry I acted that way but i just don't want to see you right now-" He looked up to see that it was in fact not Senji. He blinked owlishly up at the other strange man. "Oh, I'm uh sorry i thing you have the wrong room."

Instead he was met with a menacing smile as a few other men stood out from behind the door frame. He looked between them and swallowed, figuring he didn't like their looks or the way subtlety acted. Their shared snickers and glances. Quickly he tried to shut his door, but the original man stopped it from closing all the way and pried it back open. "Cool it kiddo, We're just going to have a little fun." The way it was said made his stomach turn, it was disgusting. He made a cry for help and they covered his mouth, what ever they wanted he didn't want to be involved. Biting down as hard as he could made the man pull back his hand, it also made him very very angry. He held his bleeding hand for a second then looked back to Ganta with one of the cruelest looks he'd ever seen. "You're going to wish you hadn't done that." The man said lowly

"Oh yeah, I don't think so." he said somewhat snarkily, oh god for all the times for him to start acting like Senji, now was not a good time. He learned this as a fist connected with his jaw. Then he was grabbed from behind and a rag was placed over his mouth and nose then he passed out. 

Groaning softly he started to come to. Blinking awake he looked around, Nothing but what seemed to be a spotlight on him. Still weak and with almost no strength he tried to stand but fell back to his knees. There was this familiar cackling. He turned to see Minatsuki walk up to him.

"Hey GAAYnta, I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me, huh!" She said bending down to pat his head, he stared up at her and blinked. They were in prison, of course he'd see her. 

"N-No , i never thought that. I-" He sighed. "What do you want?" He looked up to her defiantly.

"Oh, No. It's not about what I want but rather what _they_ want." The men from before also walked out. The room must've been big, he thought to himself. "And all they want to do is help you relieve some tension, some frustration." She said in a sickly sweet voice. "I've noticed, that lately you've been acting note and more like a fag. Then it hit me. You didn't know. Then today, the way you pushed him away, you realized. You realized that you're gay as shit. You sexually frustrated piece of shit. Its fucking sad to see you follow him around, waiting for him to see you and fuck you on spot." She said seeming to enjoy the way he squirmed. "Too bad he only sees you as a fwiend. You'll never get what you want from Senji." She looked down to him and pouted. "Don't make that face, it only makes me want to hurt you more. Anyways, these nice men are here to give you what Senji won't. You're welcome you homo." She smiled down at him. It took him a few seconds to understand what she meant. What S'enji wouldn't give him. His heart dropped as the fear set in. "No! Let me go! I-I don't want this." Looking to her for some kind of help she blew kiss before walking back into the darkness. He struggled to stand and escape but found he couldn't.  There was a small huff of a laugh.

"Get his arms. You- get something to shut him up with."  The man barked at the others. Ganta tried to shift away.

"No Please, I-I don't know what she told you but I'm not- I don't want this!" He said defiantly. Trying to desperately plead with the men Who pulled at his arms. Whining he tried to bargain anything to stop this. It was no use. One roughly shoved  what tasted like a dirty sock into his mouth. He cried out it being muffled by the sock. He shook his head and somehow managed to pull his hands away. It was fight or give up. He chose fight swinging his fists wildly, making contact a few times he was happy until his shirt was ripped down the middle and used to both re-bind his hands and to blind him. All the adrenaline made whatever he was drugged with begin to wear off. He thrashed violently, his muffled cries not travelling far. 

"Quit fucking around kid." What he assumed was the main man said before a fist met his cheek. There was another muffled cry. "Behave or it will be worse, for you that is."

Ganta shut his eyes tightly. Anything he could do to further himself from the situation he was in. His eyes shot open however though when his belt was unbuckled. His muffled protests were ignored and his pants themselves were up buttoned and slid off. He shivered as a hand was ran up his body.  _'No. No, this didn't feel right. it didn't feel good, like his dream. After all couldn't he pretend it was Senji? It felt completely different. It was wrong. Disgusting. "_  There was an array of hands and tongues running all over, up and down his body. Against his wishes his body began to grow aroused. He willed his erection away. He shook his head as a hand wrapped around his half flaccid cock, stroking it to its full potential. Tears sprung to his eyes as a muffled moan came out; It was natural him jerking his hips, trying for any sort of friction. However it only caused a few chuckles and for the hand to completely leave his cock. Moaning softly at the loss the dirty sock was removed and he gasped for breath. 

"Go on." One said. 

"That's it. beg." said a different one

"Fuck, you want a nice thick cock, don't you?" Asked another. 

He shook his head. "No, Please let me go" He said squeezing his legs shut in an attempt to cover himself. If it wasn't Senji, he didn't want it. Then there was that same ugly haunting chorus of laughter, as his legs were tore open. He shook his head again but this time his whines were stolen by the lips that covered his and the foreign tongue that invaded his mouth. One stepped on his chest and he broke away from the kiss. "Hurts!" The wet sloppy kisses being placed from his knee on up were only making everything worse. They'd made it to his upper thigh when There was a clatter which sounded like the door opening followed by grunts and gasps. All foreign contact with his body ceased. just for a second. He could feel hesitation, hands hovering over his body. Then a shuffling of clothing. "L-Listen I, I wont tell I promise. let me go, please." He whispered the last part. His hands were unbound silently and a jacket was placed over him. His head shot up. He didn't even have to see who it was to know who it was, he knew the smell. "S-Senji," he asked even though he knew he had to be sure "is that you?". Eyes filling with tears he reached up and took off the makeshift blind fold. He was met with a solemn gaze. Ganta immediately lost his composure and flung himself into the older male's arms beginning to sob uncontrollably. "Se-Senji, I was so so. .Scared!" He cried messily into the other crying even harder when Senji began to stroke his hair.

Senji pulled him closer almost into his lap. Shushing him softly he smoothed his hair back and out of is tear stained face. "Shhh, come on kid, you're alright. i got you. You're fine now." He Tried to push him away so he could get a better look but he dove back into his original place, so close to each other. He cried louder each time Senji tried to shove him away, because he didn't want him to leave him. He shushed him and comforted him, rubbing his hair until he stopped crying. Though his breaths were uneven he leaned c=back so he could see Gantas face. "Are you OK?" He asked. The boy took a shuddering breath but nodded. "Can you stand? No. its OK." He said standing picking the boy up. he seemed so small in his arms, so vulnerable. The younger buried his face into the others neck. 

"I was so scared." Was being repeated like a mantra. 

Senji sighed softly and tightened his hold on the boy. Carrying Ganta back to his room He shushed him softly every time his breathing cot out of control. 

He shook his head. "No. Please not here, I just- not here." he whined tears threatening to spill again when senji attempted to leave him in his room. "Please, let me stay with you."

"Ok." Senji said nodding softly, he carried him to his room and dressed in almost comical too big clothes and laid him on the bed. climbing in behind him Ganta flinched and Senji pulled him into him and smoothed his hand over his shoulders, neck , and back. Kissing his forehead softly he murmured his apologies to Ganta. He was going to tell him more things but when he checked he'd already fallen asleep. Smoothing his hair one last time he whispered something in his ear before resting his chin on top of his head.

Having friends was hard when you wanted more.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Drop a kudos? Both? 
> 
> P.s Also I went back and read the previous chapters to see what I wanted to do with this and I discovered that I desperately need a beta reader. I would pick through it myself but if I read and re-read through my stuff I'll hate it. So if you wanna beta for me hmu.
> 
> P.p.s I didn't really try on that beginning sex scene as it was a dream and didn't happen. I feel as if this was rushed, sorry I couldn't give you something better


	6. Necessity:Atention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you're both 'just friends' but both also want more? What will Ganta do now that Senji is gaining popularity, and his attention is being taken away? How will he regain his attention, and will Senji see that he's in love with the boy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone's jealous, and you know what they say. . . . Jealousy's a bitch.

"Later." He couldn't believe Senji blew him off like that. Just because he beat up some thugs that had been bothering everybody, suddenly he's the bee's knees. Well Senji had always been cool to him, but now that he was cool to everyone else he had to compete for something that should be his in the first place. Senji's time and attention. Ganta watched bitterly from 'their' table as Senji was surrounded by people laughing at some lame dad joke he'd told. Ganta shoved a grape into his mouth and frowned. It was soft. Spitting it back onto the plate he looked back up to Senji, who had coincidentally looked over at just that moment. He gave some cool guy head nod. It pissed Ganta off. Was it too much to ask for Senji to only look at him? To Give him all his attention, just like always? Ganta adored the others attention and adoration, and he wanted it back. Standing up abruptly he threw his food away and went back to the room.

After a while Senji headed back and said his goodbyes to whoever had still been with him. Smiling he shut the door behind him he flopped onto the bed next to Ganta. He sighed loud hopefully prompting ganta to ask about what was up. It didn't. In fact he hadn't even acknowledged his presence and had his nose buried in senji's old tattered book. He gave him a soft nudge. It was unusual for the teenager not to talk to him he thought sitting up to look at him. "Oi, brat." It wasn't mean, just one of the man things he called Ganta. "What's wrong?" He asked. after that when he still got no response he sighed again. Something was obviously bothering him. Standing he walked over to his barbell. "Get over here. Spot me." He said in a calm voice. 

It was a tone Ganta knew, it meant that Senji meant business. He set the book down and walked over a little too slow for Senji's liking to the end of the equipment. Ganta knew full well that Senji didn't need to be spotted. His jaw was tight as Senji laid back on the bench and looked up at him. Together they lifted the bar together and began to do a few sets. It was silent between them except for the occasional "clink" of the metal. 

Senji spoke up first. "You wanna tell me what's wrong now?" His voice was low. A few heartbeats passes before he spoke again. "Don't tell me it's nothing. I know you." He added. Ganta always made a face before he lied. in some ways he was still such a child, just as he should be. He should be out there doing things normal kids do, he shouldn't be in prison. "That, and you wear you heart on your sleeve." Ganta sighed. 

"Honestly, you worry too much. Its nothing, i'm fine, just tired." he said, and before he knew senji had put the bar back into its place and was turned looking at him. 

"Are you lying to me?" He asked. His eyebrows were knitted together and his eye was intense, almost as if he were looking straight through him. 

"No." 

"Good." Senji said before lightly tapping him with his fist. "Here, ill spot you." He looked from what hed just been lifting to the boy. "You wanna try the full tree hundred?" He laughed when he say the look on gantas face. "Yeah, right lets try 150?" 

"Counting the bar?" He asked

"No, not counting the bar, so like nearly two?" He said as he took the extra weights off. Ganta had a look of worry. "It'll be fne, im here, i got your back." 

And to be honest that made him more happier than it should've. He sat at the  bench and took a deep breath. Thats right he had nothing to worry about, because when it came down to it, Senji would always come back to him. This had turned into their thing. Exercising together as it turned out it did in fact relieve stress. and ganta found himself full of i these days, stress that is. "I'm ready." He said It was more than he was used to but Senji was there. So he'd be ok. Senji helped him lift the bar and when he let it go anta felt like he was going to be crushed. he struggled to push it back up. 

"Come on you can do it. its moving, a little further." Senji encouraged. It gave ganta the confidence boost to list it back up. 

He only ended up doing two reps. But the slight burn he felt was nice. Ganta sighed happily as he wiped the sweat that had started to form on his brow. Senjia patted him on the back.

"Alright big guy, those were nice." He said. It had become a routine, them working out together. "Keep it up and you'll be jacked." Senji ruffled his hair and went back  to sit on the bed. A few guards know about their situation, the cool ones as he called them, and had gotten him a bed that was a size bigger, so that they'd both fit. Patting the mattress that was next to him he beckoned ganta over. The younger complied, after all, if it was senji telling him something he'd probably listen.

He sighed softly and laid next to him. they were quite again, just enjoying the others company. Ganta had gotten over his irrational fear of being near Senji, and grew to relish the innocent touches the man often gave him.

The next day was just as bad for Ganta. He knew he should've told senji that those other people monopolizing his was upsetting, but he had no claim, so it wouldn't be right. 

Midday Senji stood with the 'guys' on the quad, slightly unsettled by their plan, but at the same time oddly honored by their mutual decision to include him. See, what they wanted him to do was to use his branch of sin to slice up a couple locks in the main guard tower and from there they'd steal some files. He wasn't sure but, he'd finally gotten some sort of admiration, and he didn't want to loose that. So he reluctantly agreed. He was to meet them right before lights out and they'd go from there. 

Ganta didn't like this idea. At all. If there was any chance of them getting caught surly, Senji would get thrown under the bus. no doubt. After all there were cameras everywhere and Senji's branch of sin was unique. It'd be recognized, didn't they know that, or if they did- did they not care? He would not let them taint his friend. That's right, they were friends and friends looked out for each-other, even if they wanted more. Ganta stood at the end of the hall to block him when it was time to go. Senji just laughed and pushed past him. 

"Don't worry, it'll be fine." Senji told Ganta. 

All had in fact not been fine. Someone told and half way through their group got raided. Senji took the right and they all ran separate directions. Soon he found himself trapped in a corner with a few guards beginning to close in on him. He squared himself and was prepared to fight his way out. Then suddenly and unexpectedly there was little 'oomph' noises and the shadows stopped advancing. 

 "Hurry up Senji, I don't know how long they'll be out. Come on!" Ganta said as he ran directly up to him. 

 "What are you doing here?" He asked dumb struck 

"Saving your ass apparently." He barked out at him. 

"Much appreciated, but I said I'd be fine." He replied lowly as they passed the knocked out guards. 

"One, I was going to come regardless, so don't treat me like a child, two everything is not fine." He said in a voice Senji recognized as his own 'I told you' voice. 

Senji rolled his eyes and quickened their pace. They reached the room much faster than usual. Running tended to do that. As soon as the doors shut behind them he relaxed. He glanced at ganta and they broke into a fit of laughter. They laughed until what sounded like sobs broke through Ganta's voice. He was looking away and senji leaned closer and asked him what was wrong in the soft way that he had reserved only for Ganta

"I hate them." Ganta whispered lowly. His eyes burned and Senji leaned to meet his avoiding eyes. 

"Why? I don't get why you don't like them." He said. "They don't even care about you, All they like you is for protection. They left you to get caught and if it weren't for me you'd be in the shu." He didn't even let senji defend them, raising his voice. "They don't care about you and you give them all your time and i get nothing. You tossed me aside like i was nothing!" He shouted tears starting to form in his eyes. Senji took a step back

Was this how Ganta felt? He hadn't told him anything how was he supposed to know? What was he supposed to do? read his mind? "I-I'm Sorry." He said softly moving back to place his hand on Gantas shoulder Ganta tore away from his touch and looked up to him

"Am I nothing to you? I thought we were friends." He cried freely now. Senji pulled him into an embrace in the darkened room and held on tight as the younger tried to wiggle away. 

"No, i'm so sorry i made you feel that way. You should know better than anyone that you're important to me." He said, his normally fixed up hair falling around his face. "I'd've chosen you over them. Any day." 

"But you didn't." Ganta said. 

"I didn't know that i was making a choice that would hurt you. I need you to know- that that was never my intention." He told Ganta. who still shuddered with deep ragged breaths. He still avoided his eyes. ans Senji sighed and tilted his head up. "Hey, i'm sorry. ok? You forgive me?" Ganta just nodded softly as Senji once again wiped his tears. They just sat there for a while taking comfort in each other's presence. Then it happened, neither one of them knew who initiated it- maybe it was both if them, but as their lips met they flinched tentatively before deepening their kiss. 

It was raw, full of emotions, and yet gentle at the same time. the dim emergency lights casting just enough light for them to see each other. And, god, was it everything that Ganta had wanted. He tried to push further but senji broke the kiss, and he whined at the loss of contact. Senji hushed his protests with a few nips to his neck. 

"You've made me a better person. And i thank you for that." He said his breath hot on Ganta's neck. "You-" He just sighed softly and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Senji gave a huff and stood up straight. "You're not worthless, you matter to me, so quit all this self deprecating bullshit." He told him,with no real heat to his voice. Ganta laughed softly and nodded. Senji beckoned him over to the bed and ganta coyly walked over and crawled onto the bed- Senji just behind him. He kissed the base of his neck and continued to tell him his worth. How much he meant to him. After a long time filled with just their breathing they fell asleep tangled into each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come onnnn, I really need a beta reader. And also comments give me life. As always kudos and comment.


	7. Desire: Desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has wants, needs if you will. And Ganta wants more than intense makeout sessions and fumbling touches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've stayed this long, then here's my kudos to you.

Ganta moaned in frustration. It's been weeks since their first kiss and they'd only gotten as far as second base. He knew it wasn't just him, because Senji was always hard too. But whenever Ganta made a move to pull down his pants he'd pull them right back up and say next time. Well next time was this time. He sat back up and eyed the other. Slowly he crawled back over and placed a few kisses to his face to get his attention. Senji smiled and returned as many as he could before Ganta moved back away. He looked at him and tilted his head. "Let's do something." He said, his voice shook slightly and his eyes were dertimined. 

"Next time." He said in a calm calculated tone. 

"You always say " next time" but next time's never coming. Is it?" He retorted. 

"Ganta." Senji said his voice held a warning. 

"Senji." He said back a dare in his voice. He sofened. "Why not? I want you, and you want it just as much as I do. I know you do." He ended. Senji sighed. 

"It's not you, it's me." He tried. 

"Don't give me that lame ass bullshit excuse." He surprised even himself with what came out of his mouth. "Tell me why." He put it simply. 

"I don't want to hurt you, or " he paused "for you to change your mind." He said softly. Ganta stared at him for a few seconds. 

"Don't be stupid. I'm not scared of you because I know, that you won't hurt me. And I won't change my mind. I swear." He held one hand over his heart and the other up. "Scouts honor." 

"Liar." Senji said. "You weren't a scout." 

"True, but I give you my word." He said with a smile. 

Senji sighed and took off his shirt and did the same for Ganta. He let his hands roam the younger body. "This is what you want?" He asked before going any further. 

"yes. god yes." Ganta breathed out. He let himself be handled by the older male until he was on his back looking up. 

Senji continued to massage the others bodyand memorize the way it felt under his skin. The warmth and slight give his skin had was all being imprinted into Senji's mind.  He leaned down and sucked some of the taut skin into his mouth, when he pulled away there was a perfect little bruise there. Running his hand up he pinched a nipple in-between his fingers until it became firm. He left a trail of wet, sloppy kisses up along his body and closed his mouth around the nipple. As he bit down softly he felt Ganta twitch underneath him.

God, everything Senji did was slow and sensual and Ganta loved it, but he also wanted more. Slightly he ground up against him and the slight growl that left Senji's lips was more than enough for him to submit. 

In one Swift move Senji had relieved Ganta of his bottoms and unders. He shifted under the scrutiny of his gaze. 

"Suck." Senji commanded shoving a few fingers into Ganta's face. He swallowed dryly and took the fingers into his mouth making sure to coat each one evenly, and Senji goraned because he could just picture it. That's what what Ganta would look like with his lips wrapped around his cock. He took the fingers away and immediately stuck one in to the knuckle. 

Ganta made a face because this is not what his dream felt like. He supposed that it would get better as things progressed. After a while another finger was added and he winced slightly at the stretch he was being given. Just as the third and final finger was being added he moaned loudly. Senji's fingers brushed against the little bundle of nerves and muscles and made Ganta moan in pleasure. 

He smiled and placed a kiss to his forehead, pausing his actions as he did. Ganta leaned into the touch but also whined at the loss of movement. 

"Hmmmm, don't stop. Please." He urged and rocked back onto the fingers. He gasped and arched his back; his eyes shutting and he let out silent moan. Senji watched  hungrily as Ganta pleasured himself on his fingers. 

"Ugh fuck." He said under his breath. "You're so fucking sexy." He breathed out as Ganta rocked the fingers in and out of himself. "Shit, look at you. Fucking yourself on my fingers." His voice was low and filled with lust. 

Ganta whimpered and reached down to stroke his own cock. Senji pinned his hands above his head and he whined. "Please." He said.

"Let's see if you can come with just my fingers." Senji said his breath hot against Ganta's ear. And Ganta nodded helplessly because he knew he could. 

He readjusted and impaled himself onto Senjis fingers almost crying out loud at how good it felt. His cock ached and pre-cum dribbled out of the tip and he was so close. He could feel it. The hot coiling in the pit of his stomach. The way his legs felt as if they'd give, his breathing eradic and God, he was just so close. 

Senji tilted forward and took Ganta's lips for his own. The kiss was bruising and rough. Everything they both wanted. He pulled Ganta's head to he side by his hair and leaned in even closer. "Cum, you know you want to. Cum from just my fingers and show me how much you want it. How much you want my cock." 

Ganta was used to Senji's dominant attitude in normal everyday life, but this was something completely different. A side of him completely unseen and Ganta found himself enthralled. The way he spoke to him, almost as if belittling him was incredibly hot. And with that crude command he came. His whole body shaking. His toes pointed down as far as they could go, and if he never understood the term seeing stars then he certainly understood now. He struggled to catch his breath and calm his heart. By the time Senji pulled his hand away Ganta was spent, still, he groaned at the loss of contact. He felt so empty. With hips twitching he managed to finally calm down and catch his breath. It was then he realized how selfish he'd been. He'd gotten to cum but Senji was still painfully hard. The front of his sweats wet with pre-cum of his own. His lower half felt weak but still he crawled to Senji and palmed his length through his pants. 

"No,it's ok. I can do it myself." He said trying to push the other away. 

"I want to." Ganta said pushing Senjis hand away. Carefully he pulled down the sweats until the head of the cock peaked out. Once the full length was out on the open he had to bite his lip from saying anything. It was much longer and thicker than the fingers and he actually looked forward to being fucked by that cock. Carefully he wrapped his hand around it and began to pump his hand up and down. Senji gave a low moan that resonated in his ears. The pre-cum helped Ganta's heand ease up and down the length. It was warm to the touch and slowly he lowered his lips to it. Cautiously he wrapped his lips around the tip and bobbed his head slightly. 

"Watch the teeth." He hissed before moaning again. "Yeah, just like that." He said resting his hands on the back of Ganta's head. 

The taste was slightly salty, and Ganta didn't know if it was the pre-cum or sweat, either way. It was the way Senji tasted so, he loved it. He breathed in through his nose and took more into his mouth. Picking up the pace at which he bobbed his head he swirled his tongue around the tip. That earned a hiss of pleasure from Senji. He took as much as he could with out gagging and the rest he pumped with his hand. Senji crused under his breath and tangled his fingers into the boy's hair. 

"Yes, j-just like that." He said his voice shakey. Ganta mumbled something and the vibrations sent tingles up Senji's spine. Fuck. He wouldn't last much longer. He looked down and saw Ganta's tight lips sliding up and down his cock a slight blush tinting his cheeks. Then Ganta slightly ran his teeth against the sensitive skin there and her had to fight the urge to buck his hips. Urgently he tapped Ganta's shoulder. "Come up. I'm gonna cum." Instead he just sucked more into his mouth and hollowed his cheeks. Senji came with a quiet "ugh fuck" and he held Ganta's lips there until he was done riding out his orgasm. 

He sputtered and coughed finally being able to come up for proper air. 

"I warned you." Senji said sounding almost bashful. He frabbed his disgaurded shirt and whiped his mess from the others face. He pressed kiss to Ganta's lips and tasted the bitterness of himself in the kiss. He smiled and looked at the other. "Was that what you wanted?" 

"No" he said with a pout "but it'll do for now. Thank you" Senji reached out to brush some stray hairs out of his face and he leaned into the touch "next time for real for real, ok?" He asked the tiredness and exhaustion from what they'd just done beginning to hit him. 

"Ok." Senji hummed kicking his pants off the rest of the way. "Next time." 

He took off the soiled bottom sheet and pulled Ganta closer to him as the other began to drift off into sleep. He too, soon fell asleep. The boy snuggled close and personal. 

They slept like this sometimes, usually fully clothed but this pose always made Ganta feel safe and content. Protected and warm. But right now it just felt natural. Right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooooh, two chapters in a day? How neat. Thats not gonna happen again. 
> 
> Anyways, what's going to happen with the boys next? Who knows? Definitely not me, that's for sure. Read future chapters to find out. 
> 
> Kudos and comment, as always, also a beta would be great appreciated. Many thanks.


	8. *Update*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you guys thought this was a nee chapter. :(

So I guess this seems to be a pretty well received fic. And I still have a long way to go, its just I'm a little stumped. 

For the pacing of the story and dudes im running out of names. Throw some edgy™ sounding titles out thete and I might pick that. Also It would help my morale if comments were given more frequently, but its just a suguestion. You dont have to.   I think if i run out of names I'll just go back and rename the chapters by numbers. Get back to me pls.

 

(Also I'm still accepting beta readers.) 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!  
> \- THE_SUPERNATURALIST


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